• BSchmidt

Micro Reviews: A New Hope

Man, it has been awhile since I was this excited about new music. This year has pushed me into a dark blanketed hole, where I’ve retreated into the classics; The same old sludgy sinew sammies from Cattle Decapitation, the same old bleeding from the holes where my ears used to be with Cannibal Corpse, and the same old crispy, bone rattlings from Cryptopsy. One must wear comfortable shoes when walking through this uninhabitable hellscape we call 2020. Anyways, these new tracks have given me hope for the future. Even though 2020 has been a huge bummer, at least we have good music!Y


You know the drill. Follow along on Spotify with the link below.


https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1sU2SA9DJvaATf2YpZOW5B?si=c1LW3XUATX6gVTgUJa-8kg




Avatar - A Secret Door


I've always seen this band as a sort of knock off SOAD, or Mudvayne, but this track is proving me wrong. This was the first song I've heard from this band that really stood out to me, which isn’t to say their bad, just not really my thing, and they usually make some really strange stylistic decisions that don’t really do much for their music. I really don't like the whistling, but the rest of the song really makes up for it. I DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG it. Wait… wrong band.


Waiting forever for the the next SOAD album/10




Gojira - Another World


Once again Gojira returns to outer space in an exciting new adventure, featuring chill vibes and Heaviness, this time with a little more tribal drums. This band certainly knows what it's fans want; to leave this garbage planet forever and chill with Elon Musk in pursuit of whale tail.


Colonize Mars then Sirius/10



Lamb of God - The Death of Us


This track is my favorite song to come out of Lamb of God's most recent offerings, and it has nothing to do with it being a part of the new Bill and Ted movie's soundtrack. It definitely helps though. It's got a cool chorus and I like the "Hopeless Helpless Dying Breath," theme. It's kind of Shakespearean, and totally fits with the whole Bill and Ted vibe. This track's radical bruh!


Travelling back in time to pass your history exam/10



Mastodon - Rufus Lives


I had to decide between two Mastodon tracks for this list, which is no easy task, and while both of them were good, this one was hella cool. It’s got the quirky Mastodon flare that I love, and a killer chorus. This one also happens to be on the Bill and Ted Soundtrack, but to be fair, I haven’t seen the movie yet, and it’s been a hot decade since I’ve seen the originals.


Something about poorly built good robot selves fighting futuristic evil robot selves/10



Hate breed - Weight of the False Self


Did you hear that? That's the sound of me audibly groaning. I've never been a huge Hate breed fan. I know the classics and for the most part, they're okay. But I hate this with a fiery passion.Tear it down! Destroy Everything! Call me a Defeatist. I don't care. This is a huge step down from their last single.


Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da, Da Da, Da, Da, Da

Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da, Da Da, Da, Da, Da/10



Unleash he Archers - Faster than light


Oh my God. What is wrong with me? How did I get to liking power metal? My younger self would be incredibly disappointed, although my younger self also thought that Meshuggah was garbage, and look how wrong I was! This song is like riding your cyber Pegasus through the cosmos firing your trusty laser rifle at hordes of space skeletons. That darn space necromancer won’t get away from us this time.


Skeletons from Space would be an awesome song title/10



Vargskelethor - Skeleton from Space


Found it. Nevermind everybody, you can go about your business. Actually this is pretty interesting. It's likie if Bathory started shitposting songs about Skeletons. Not bad, they've got such classics as, Skeleton Inside of Me, Speed Metal Spooker, and my personal favorite, Are Mummies Skeletons?.


But Brian, this song came out in 2014! Doesn’t this not adhere to the format you yourself created?/10






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